After an exciting week on the markets, one I’m sure Jesse Livermore at the peak of his powers would have relished, here are a few jokes – probably as old as Jesse – to ease us into the weekend:
“I’m giving you three weeks’ vacation,” said the boss at the investment bank.
“Wow, thank you very much sir.”
“And make sure you enjoy yourself. When you come back I shall have something very serious to say to you.”
The assistant at the meat counter had been fired and had sworn vengeance on the store.
He returned on Saturday, when the store was swarming with customers, and very publicly placed a dead cat on the counter, calling out cheerily:
“Hey guys, that’s the last of this week’s dozen.”
At the investment bank:
“Sir, there’s a debt collector in your office.”
“Tell him he can have the pile in my in-tray.”